


To Ash and Bone

by Abby_S



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Curses, F/F, Femslash, Implied/Referenced Past Depression, Implied/Referenced Past Murder, Mild Horror, Minor Character Death, Romance, Sexual Content, Witch Ruby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-31
Updated: 2014-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-10 17:35:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1162572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abby_S/pseuds/Abby_S
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Anna, a lonely waitress, is hit by an unknown curse, her life is turned upside down. Bombarded with horrific visions every time she closes her eyes, she slips slowly, but surely, into madness. Ruby, a witch with a mysterious past, reluctantly accepts to help her. Despite their differences, despite the threat of a powerful, sentient enemy, they fall for each other. However, as time runs out, the threat hanging over Anna will lead them to ends even they hadn't foreseen.</p><p>Written for the Supernatural Femslash Challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Ash and Bone

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Queens of the Stone Age, _Burn the Witch_
> 
> Many, many thanks to furyofthetimelord for organizing this challenge. 
> 
> Also, as always, VeraBAdler was an awesome beta who put up with my inability to deal with deadlines. Thank you so much :) 
> 
> So, yeah. This story. What about it? Well, first, I had an AWESOME time writing it. Seriously. Witches? Totally my area. Fantasy? Magic? Yes to that. Ladies? HELL YEAH. I can't guarantee that it's good, because 1) I'm the last person you want to hear talk about it, I'm my own cruelest judge and 2) Well, I have no idea if it is. But it was written with pleasure, and that has to count, right? 
> 
> Then, I'd like to point out that I probably could have written 50,000 words and still have things to say. Basically, it means that an awful lot of my headcanons for this AU world I created will stay in my head.
> 
> The sex scene wasn't beta'd, since I added it at the last minute in a fit of inspiration. I hope it's not too cringe-worthy.
> 
> ADDITIONAL WARNINGS: Alcohol, sex while a little inebriated (totally consensual), some dark-ish themes

 

 

# Part I

_And they had a king over them, which is the angel of the bottomless pit, whose name in the Hebrew tongue is Abaddon, but in the Greek tongue hath his name Apollyon._

_Revelations, Book six._

_Bible, King James Version_

 

The first time it happened, Anna thought it was just a side effect of her rampant exhaustion.

It was the night before the full moon. Madison wasn’t there, of course, and Ellen had taken a rare night off. She hadn’t told them what for, but judging by her attire when she’d left, Anna was quite sure she had a date. _Ellen._ A _date_. Anna would have been the last person to complain.

As a result, it was only Ash and Anna to handle the Roadhouse. The place was _packed_. Of course it was. People tend to go a little wild on full moons, everybody knows that. Some say it's the animal side of humanity, reeling for dominance.

Anna thought that was a load of bullshit invented by men to excuse their attempts to grab her ass when she crossed the room with a tray in hands.

She was tired, more than she should have been. Bartending wasn’t an easy job, but she was used to it. Used to the drunken brawls, used to the too-loud music coming out of the jukebox, used to the ridiculous hours. She even liked it sometimes. Some nights, a guy or a girl would smile at her, and joke with her. Some nights, it was calm and she could sit in the back and draw for hours, letting her mind wander far, far away.

“Hey, you’re hearin’ me, babe?”

Tonight clearly wouldn’t be one of those nights.

Anna blinked and stared at the man who was talking to her. He had a greasy ponytail, a dirty t-shirt, and a cocky smile. Anna sighed. _Here it comes_.

“I’m sorry,” she said, hoping her bored tone would deter him. “What can I do for you?”

The guy winked. “A little smile, for starters?”

When Anna just stared at him coolly, he deflated visibly and slumped on his stool. “A beer.”

Anna nodded and silently took a clean glass, filling it at the tap, careful not to let the head overflow. She slid a coaster in front of the man and wordlessly gave him his drink, pretending not to notice his gaze on her. She _hated_ this. It didn’t happen that often, really. Ellen wouldn’t have accepted it. Anna had seen her kick guys’ asses for their wandering hands, and the regulars knew better than to mess with Ellen. She was _scary_.

This man, though, she had never seen. It wasn’t that rare to see a random newbie or a simple passerby, but this particular one raised her hackles. She ignored his repeated attempts at engaging her in conversation and fled to the other side of the bar, where Ash was cleaning a set of glasses and idly chatting with Gordon. Well, Ash was chatting. Gordon was staring moodily at his drink.

Anna shook her head, watching Ash fondly as he laughed at his own joke. Gordon didn’t twitch. Then again, Gordon never really laughed. It was a probably a vampire thing, the broodiness.

Gordon looked up from his glass and his dark eyes settled on Anna, his face unreadable. Wiping his hands on his ridiculous pink apron, Ash followed his gaze, grinning at Anna.

“What’s up, princess?”

Anna rolled her eyes and glanced over her shoulder at the greasy jerk.

“Can you replace me? There’s an asshole hitting on me.”

Ash snorted and fluffed his hair with both hands, eyelashes fluttering mock-seductively.

“Throwing me to the wolves, Milton?”

She smiled, leaning back on the shelves. Ash nodded at Gordon and threw the man a cheeky grin as he made his way to the other side of the counter. Anna rolled up her sleeves and started washing the glasses, humming as she went. She had always liked the soapy smell and the way her skin felt scorched with hot water. Jo used to tease her about it, and the memory sent a pang of distress through her chest. Nights like these, Jo’s absence was like a phantom limb, itching and hurting.

“You want me to take care of him?”

Snapping out of her thoughts, Anna frowned and looked up at Gordon. He raised his eyebrows questioningly, hand clenched around his half-empty glass of scotch.

“Who?” she asked, bemused. Gordon’s gaze flicked to his left and Anna followed it. Her eyes fell upon the man from earlier. Ash was babbling at him, she noticed, and she couldn’t hear what he was saying, but the guy now looked distinctly uncomfortable. Knowing her friend, he was probably flirting shamelessly just to raise his hackles.

“Him?” she said, jerking her chin in the man’s direction. At Gordon’s nod, she chuckled under her breath. Well, that was new. Gordon had been a regular for years,  and this was the first time he'd actually _talked_ to Anna. He didn’t look like he was joking, either. In fact, he looked furious.

“No,” she said hastily, feeling that Gordon would actually put his threat into practice if she didn’t intervene. “He didn’t do anything to me. He didn’t even touch me.”

Gordon didn’t look convinced, but he relaxed into his chair. Sighing in relief, Anna went back to washing the glasses. The last thing she needed tonight was an interspecies bar brawl.

“Thanks, though,” she said as an afterthought. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Gordon’s lips quirking up a little. It almost looked like a smile.

Weird.

The rest of her shift went calmly enough. Around one, the customers began to trickle out, heads bent against the harsh sting of the wind. Soon she was alone with Ash, who turned off the jukebox with a sigh of relief and started wiping the tables, features drawn with tiredness.

“I’m taking a break,” Anna called, and he hummed absently. She made her way across the room and slumped into a booth, leaning her head against the wall. She ached all over and she could feel the beginnings of a migraine blooming under her left eye.

“Shit,” she mumbled.

She’d just rest her eyes for a second.

~¤~¤~

_She was in an abandoned house. A ray of moonlight pierced through the broken window, bathing the empty room in milky-white light. She was lying on the cold, hard floor. She couldn’t move. She just – couldn’t. Her legs refused to obey. Her arms were unresponsive, limp at her sides._

_She tried to call out for help, but no sound came out of her mouth._

_Suddenly, a shriek echoed against the bare walls. It was piercing, inhuman._

_Terrifying._

_And it came from under the window._

_The wail rang out again. Whatever it was, it was closer, now. She could hear her own heartbeat in her ears – a panicked, unsteady thump. The creature probably heard it, too, because the next scream sounded like bloodlust in its purest form._

_A shadow masked the moonbeam._

_Anna opened her mouth and screamed, screamed, screamed_.

~¤~¤~

“Anna, _dammit_!”

Anna opened her eyes and the scream died in her throat.

Ash was looking down at her, eyes wide and panicked. He was gripping her shoulder so hard it hurt, but she didn’t try to shrug him off. Instead, her hand shot up to grab his forearm. He was warm, _alive_. Human, he was human. She was at the Roadhouse. That was real.

She exhaled slowly and loosened her grip, straightening and looking around.

When she spoke, her throat was sore and aching.

“I – I have no idea what just happened,” she rasped. Ash’s frown deepened and he held out a hand. Anna accepted it gratefully and refused to let it go when she got up on her wobbly legs. Ash didn’t comment on it.

“Sounds like you had one hell of a nightmare,” he joked weakly. He was shaken, and it showed. His face was paler than usual, and _that_ was something, given that Ash’s skin usually looked like it had never known sunlight. Which was probably true.

“Yeah,” Anna said, voice breathy and shell-shocked. “You could say that.”

“You’re gonna be okay to get home?” Ash asked, face drawn with worry. “’Cause I have a sofa bed upstairs, you know?”

Anna was tempted. She felt weak and her legs were like cotton. When she looked down, she saw that her hands were trembling. She clenched them into a fist and shook her head.

“No, thank you, Ash,” she said softly. “I have to feed my cat.”

Ash shrugged and stepped back. “Well, you go now, okay? I can close by myself.”

Anna thanked him and grabbed her hoodie. She felt Ash’s worried gaze follow her as she left the bar.

The moon was shining high in the sky, and Anna craned her neck to get a better look. A perfect, yellow circle, the way she used to draw it when she was a child. It looked so close from here that it almost seemed like she could touch it.

A shiver went through her whole body, cold and elation alike. Her mom used to tut at her, eyebrows drawn with worry, pampering her. _You need to eat more, Anael,_ she’d say. _You’re too thin_. _One gust of wind and you’ll fly away like a leaf torn from a tree. And what will you do then?_

Anna shook her head and started walking.

She wouldn’t get much sleep tonight.

~¤~¤~

Anna woke up at five in the morning, body coated with cold sweat. She gasped for breath, clutching at her pounding head. A whimper tore its way through her throat, dry and raspy.

She could remember the terror _, terror, the shriek of a rabid ghoul, a man chained to a rack, faceless monsters circling around him._ She could still smell the smoke _, smoke everywhere, a little girl lost in the woods, the ever-present smell of rot and decomposition_.

 She tried to keep her eyes open, tried not to blink. Every time her eyelids slipped closed, flashes of vivid color appeared: the tortured face of an old man, a dead tree in the middle of a dead garden.

Slowly, she sat up on the bed. Strands of hair were falling in her face, but she didn’t bother trying to push them back. There were tears running down her cheeks and sobs shaking her chest. Nausea prickled in the back of her throat.

And _fear_ , like nothing she’d ever felt before. Not even when she had found the hex bag in her father’s pocket, not even when she had realized that it was too late to save him. Not even when she had faced her mother on her deathbed and realized that she was all alone.

No, this fear was putrid like black goo, clogging her mind like an infected wound. This fear seeped into her bones, tainted her marrow.

“Why is this happening to me?” she asked aloud, voice shaky. There was no answer, thankfully.

When she looked around, her room was unchanged, the bare walls staring back at her blankly. For the first time, the sight didn’t reassure her.

Anna did the only thing she knew.

She got out of bed, fell to her knees and prayed.

~¤~¤~

Dawn found Anna sitting at her kitchen table, cradling a mug of coffee in one hand and a pencil in the other. On the table, her sketchbook lay open. The only sound disturbing the silence was the scratching of the lead against the paper. It was idle, something she did sometimes to get rid of bad memories. She let her mind wander and her hand worked of its own volition, pouring out her feelings onto the paper. It was almost like an exorcism. Some demons didn’t like to be disturbed, but she did it anyway, almost gleeful as she stirred the mud of her past.

 _It’s like a diary,_ Jo always said. Anna liked to think she was right. Her drawings were personal. They were something she couldn’t bring herself to show. She knew people would be afraid of her if they knew how dark her thoughts were sometimes. If they knew what kind of monsters lurked inside of her.

People were easily afraid of what they didn’t understand.

Sleep deprivation was bringing these monsters back to the surface. Anna wasn’t stupid. She knew that what was happening to her wasn’t normal. But she knew one thing more: She wouldn’t go back _there_ , not ever.

So Anna gritted her teeth, sucked it up, and started pretending everything was alright.

It wasn’t easy. The nightmares refused to leave her, regardless of the pills she gulped before going to bed. Sometimes they even sneaked up on her during the day – flashes of torture and blood that left her shaking and sobbing in the bathroom of the Roadhouse.

 _I’m going crazy,_ she thought every time she saw her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, her cheekbones even more prominent than usual. Her hair hung limply on her shoulders, unattended to. She looked like a junkie.

 _God help me, I’m going crazy_.

~¤~¤~

The day everything went to hell was a Thursday.

Her shift had started two hours ago. It was a calm night, but Anna felt battle-weary. Tired, exhausted. Like a thread ready to snap. She hadn’t had more than three hours’ sleep in almost a week.

“Anna, sweetheart, you sure you’re okay?” Ellen asked for the umpteenth time. Anna knew she meant well. Ellen was motherly with all her employees, even more now that Jo had, against her mother’s will, started her training for the FBI. It usually didn’t bother Anna; she had always craved this kind of care. But right now, it angered her. _You’re not my mom,_ she wanted to yell. _Leave me alone._

It wasn’t Ellen's talking, it was her bone-deep fatigue, the dark corruption spreading slowly under her skin. Maybe she was becoming some sort of twisted, old-school demon. Maybe she was possessed.

But no, it wasn’t possible. She would have known. She would have _noticed_.

Ellen’s hand clenched around her shoulder and Anna tensed reflexively, shying away from the touch like a frightened cat.

“Anna!” Ellen exclaimed, halfway between offended and worried. “You’re gonna tell me what’s wrong, immediately, or I’ll be forced to put you on extended leave. You obviously need sleep, you look like a ghost.” Her expression was stern, but softened when Anna opened wide eyes. Ellen couldn’t put her on leave. Anna couldn’t bear staying at home alone.

This time, when Ellen’s hand closed around her wrist, she didn’t move.

“Tell me, kiddo,” she said softly, cupping Anna’s cheek with her free hand. “You know you can trust me.”

Leaning into the touch, Anna took a shuddering breath and closed her eyes.

She realized her mistake a second too late.

The visions rushed into her mind.

_Blood, blood, so much blood –_

_her dad’s chest heaving, razor blades coming out of his mouth_

_her mom’s prone form on the bed, pale faced and lifeless_

_a little girl, her red hair flying in the wind, looking down at her hands –_

_covered in blood_

_blood, blood, so much blood –_

Anna screamed and felt her knees give out. She didn’t hit the floor, though. An arm caught her by the waist, a cool hand sweeping across her forehead. She tried to open her eyes but they wouldn’t move. She vaguely heard Ellen’s panicked voice calling her name, but it was too late.

As she sank deeper into her own private hell, her last conscious thought was _please, let this be the end_.

~¤~¤~

Anna awoke to an annoying beeping sound and a hushed voice whispering something unintelligible.

She opened her eyes and found herself surrounded by white. White walls, white sheets, white ceiling.

 _Hospital,_ her brain supplied helpfully.

“Anna? Anna Milton?” a voice said, and Anna turned her head on the pillow and looked to her right, ignoring the lightning-like stab of pain the movement caused. It was a woman – dark hair, dark eyes and a round face. Something was crawling under her pale skin, something dark and sulfuric. Anna recognized it instantly.

“You’re a demon,” she whispered hoarsely. The woman’s thin eyebrows shot up.

“I am, indeed,” she said. “How do you know that?”

Anna tried to shrug, but her whole body felt so numb she didn’t even feel her shoulders move.

“I just…know.” She frowned and pressed her lips together. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me.”

The woman snorted and shook her head, hands on her hips.

“Don’t worry about it, Ariel, I’ve heard worse. Now, my name is Meg Masters, and I’m a doctor here. How are you feeling?”

Anna blinked slowly and turned her head again, staring up at the ceiling. The glare of the neon lights hurt her head.

“Like shit,” she admitted. Meg chuckled and patted her cheek, almost fondly.

“Honest. I like. Now, I’m going to ask you a few questions, and you’re going to answer, no matter what, all right?”

Anna swallowed around the lump in her throat. She could already feel tears welling behind her eyelids and took a deep breath to try and contain them.

“It’s very important,” Meg pressed, and Anna nodded wordlessly.

“You came here presenting every sign of long-term sleep deprivation. When was the last time you had a full night’s sleep?”

Anna licked her chapped lips, looking around. There was a glass of water on the bedside table. Meg took it and handed it to her without a word, and Anna shot her a grateful look. She was stalling, and she knew it. She straightened on the bed to take a long gulp. It was tap water, tepid and metallic with a weird chemical taste that she always associated with hospitals.

When she put down the empty glass, she was feeling slightly more human.

“I haven’t slept in a week, give or take,” she said. Meg didn’t look surprised, and Anna was left to wonder if the question hadn’t been a test.

“And why’s that?”

Anna’s bottom lip started to tremble and she bit it, too hard. The pain grounded her into reality.

“I’m not crazy,” she said, more forcefully than she intended. Silence greeted her affirmation, and she struggled not to look away as Meg chewed her lip and regarded her closely. Finally, a look of comprehension crossed her face and Anna didn’t resist anymore. She tore her gaze away from Meg's and glared at the ceiling. She didn’t want to watch that expression morph into one of pity.

“Is that why you haven’t asked for help before, Ariel?” Meg asked, and the severe voice made Anna want to shrink on herself. She stubbornly refused to look at Meg and didn’t answer, jaw clenched.

The silence only lasted for a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity. Then Anna heard the soft sound of Meg’s scrubs as she approached the bed and put a finger against her chin, forcing her to turn her head.

Anna had never seen a demon look so human before. She could almost forget the slight movements of Meg’s true form as she smiled, something softer than her previous smirk.

“Anna Milton, I am going to tell you something once and for all, and you’d better listen.”

Anna didn’t move, but Meg didn’t seem to be waiting for an response.

“I read your medical history. Four years ago, after your mother’s death, you fell into depression. It says that you were sent to a mental institution for one month, because you showed suicidal tendencies and needed constant surveillance. Am I right?”

Anna nodded. A tear rolled down her cheek. She didn’t try to wipe it.

“Depression is a serious condition, Anna, but you managed to recover without any relapse. And you have to believe me, Anna, when I say that not everyone has this chance. You were very lucky and very brave, and you’ve become an accomplished young woman. You are not _crazy_ , princess. _Crazy_ doesn’t mean anything. Now tell me why you can’t sleep.”

Anna felt her chest constrict at Meg’s words. Fortunately, she’d stopped crying somewhere along the way. It had been a while since somebody had taken the time to reassure her. People who knew of her past either avoided it carefully or didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t blame them. She preferred not to think about it, either.

“I – I’ve been having nightmares.” No. That wasn’t right. “I’ve been having _visions_ ,” she amended. Meg didn’t say anything, but looked at her encouragingly. “When I close my eyes I see…horrible things.”

Meg frowned, a worried line appearing on her forehead.

“What kind of things?” she asked, tone pressing.

Anna cleared her throat, fidgeting with the hem of the white hospital shirt.

“Death,” she whispered. “Torture. Hell, murder. Everything.”

Meg’s eyes widened minutely and she took a step back, her gaze flying from Anna to the phone on the bedside table. Anna’s heart started pounding again. Meg looked almost _afraid_. Afraid of _Anna_.

“Give me a minute,” Meg muttered, already dialing a phone number. Anna opened her mouth to ask her what was happening, but Meg held up her hand.

“Hello to you too, Clarence. Bring your cute winged ass to the hospital. I think I’ve got a witness for your case.”

Anna frowned, puzzled. There was a second of silence while Meg listened to whoever was on the other end. She rolled her eyes. “Yes, _alive_ , Clarence.”

Silence.

“No, I’m not _certain_ , but it sure looks like it. Well, I'm certain about the alive part.”

Silence.

“Yes, great. You do that.”

Meg hung up, shaking her head and muttering to herself.

“What is happening?” Anna asked, a little desperately. She felt out of her depth. Meg seemed to sense it, because she trailed a hand into her hair, smiling sadly.

“I can’t tell you now, Ariel, not while I’m not sure. But I’ve got a whole new battery of tests for you.”

~¤~¤~

Anna was confused. Meg’s test was like nothing she’d ever seen. There had been no MRI, no blood tests, and no prescriptions. Instead, she’d been asked to sit on the bed and stay still while Meg rummaged in a drawer and came back holding a weird… _thing_. It looked like some sort of sophisticated EMF meter, complete with a large array of buttons.

“Don’t move,” Meg demanded, gaze unwavering from the machine’s little screen. A green LED flickered and Anna held her breath, clenching her hands on the sheets.

After a second, Meg’s face fell and she put the machine down. When she looked up at Anna, her eyes were dark and serious.

“Anna, I have one last question for you.”

“Go on,” Anna said, lifting her chin defiantly.

“However odd it may sound, have you indulged in any kinds of undeclared level 3 or higher magic?”

Anna blinked slowly, trying to wrap her mind around the question.

“What in heaven – of course not!” she said. “I’ve never even been able to use level 1 magic!”

Meg nodded, looking grim. It didn’t do anything to reassure Anna.

“What’s happening to me?” she asked pleadingly. Meg’s expression darkened even more, but before she could answer, there was a knock on the door. It banged open a second later.

Anna gasped and hastened to get under the covers, her thin gown barely covering her. At the door, three men in suits were hovering hesitantly. They were all quite attractive, but Anna couldn’t get over the fact that there were three strangers ogling her wordlessly like she was a rat in a lab.

“Well, boys,” Meg drawled, “cat got your tongue?”

The taller man seemed to catch her drift and snapped his gaze away from Anna, mumbling an apology. However, the dark-haired one was still staring at her, a weird sort of intensity on his face. He wasn’t human; there was something – some sort of true form – under his skin. He wasn’t a demon, either; it was light, vibrating all over him as if it were ready to explode. Anna pinched her lips to keep from asking questions. She’d been rude once today; it was one time too many.

“Is this her?” the man asked, voice low and gravelly, and Meg huffed. Apparently, Anna wasn't the only one bothered by things as trivial as common decency.

“Stop staring, Clarence. She’s not a circus freak. I know you’re not used to dealing with living, breathing beings, but you’re gonna have to adjust.”

The man – _Clarence –_ blinked and glared at Meg, stepping aside to let the third man approach Anna’s bed. Anna smiled hesitantly and waved, relieved when the guy grinned in answer.

“I’m Dean Winchester, FBI, Supernatural Section. These two clowns are my brother, Sam,” he jerked his thumb in the tall one’s direction, “and our partner Castiel.”

Ah, well. Not Clarence, then. Anna wisely chose not to ask. Her gaze trailed from Sam, who was talking with Meg in hushed tones, to Castiel, who was still staring at her intensely.

“Now, Anna,” Dean said, the easy grin falling from his face. “I need you to tell me what happened to you. Every detail may be important. Don’t forget anything.”

Anna nodded and started talking.

~¤~¤~

When her story ended, the room was eerily silent, four pairs of eyes staring at Anna grimly. She shifted uncomfortably, palms clammy and heart pounding. The whole situation was so far out of her comfort zone that she might as well have stepped into an alternate universe. She cleared her throat and stared at Meg with pleading eyes, begging silently for an explanation.

Surprisingly, it was Castiel who broke the silence first.

“It sounds legitimate,” he said stiffly, and Dean glanced at him.

“Yeah.” It was quiet, almost shell-shocked.

“What?” Anna pressed, “What is happening? I need to know. Please.” Her voice was quivering too much for her liking, but she couldn’t help it. One week ago, she was just a girl trying her best to live a normal life. Now, she was half-naked in a hospital, surrounded by three weird FBI agents with gloomy faces and taunted by never-ending nightmares.

“Anna,” Sam said softly, “You must understand why we can’t tell you. This case is a very sensitive matter. We can’t afford any leaks.”

“ _I don’t give a damn about your leaks!_ ”Anna yelled, anger finally taking over. Dean startled and Castiel opened wide, shocked eyes. Silence fell for a second, and Anna saw them exchange glances. Her job had schooled her in the art of communicating wordlessly, and she knew that was exactly what they were doing.

“She deserves to know,” Meg snapped suddenly, her thin eyebrows drawn together. “If you don’t tell her, I will.”

Dean cursed under his breath and Castiel sagged a little, rolling his eyes and pressing his lips together. Sam only looked relieved.

“Gotta call Bobby to ask him,” Dean grumbled. “We can’t tell her anything without his go-ahead.” This last part was accompanied by a warning glance in Meg’s direction.

Meg nodded, crossing her arms and lifting her chin haughtily. Anna felt a smirk tug at her lips when Castiel looked away, suddenly sheepish.

“You’ve got to forgive them,” Meg drawled. “They’re not used to dealing with civilians.”

Anna frowned, puzzled.

“Well, how come they’re FBI agents, then? Aren’t you guys supposed to, uh, _protect and serve_?”

Sam rolled his eyes and snorted. “Yeah, no. We – uh, we’re kind of a…special section. We deal with things that are…not natural.”

Meg made an amused sound in the back of her throat and even Castiel looked mildly entertained by Sam’s phrasing, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he gazed pensively at Anna. Anna smiled back tentatively, prying her hands open, leaving the sheets crumpled underneath them.

“Okay,” Dean boomed, striding through the room and pocketing his cell phone. “Bobby wasn’t happy with us, but he said we could talk to her.”

Meg looked victorious and Sam, satisfied. Castiel didn’t react other than to lean in to whisper something in Dean’s ear, disregarding any rule of personal space. Dean frowned and shook his head, whispering something back. Then, they turned again to watch Anna.

“Miss Milton,” Sam said softly. He was shifting his weight from one leg to another. It made him look like an overgrown puppy. Anna nodded, trying to hide her renewed nervousness. “Have you ever heard of a demon named Abaddon?”

The name was vaguely familiar, tugging at her mind with the distance of a faded childhood memory. She shook her head, leaning over the edge of the bed. Her hands were clasped together tightly, white-knuckled to hide their constant shaking. She was so _tired_.

Sam gazed at her like he could read her mind and she glared back. _I don’t need your pity_ , she wanted to say. _I don’t need anyone’s pity_.

She didn’t speak, though. She just waited.

“Abaddon is a demon,” Sam said eventually, the sound echoing in the silence of the room. Anna glanced at Meg, who had tensed at the admission, and offered her the smallest smile. Meg relaxed slightly.

“And?” Anna prompted. Sam looked hesitant, and surprisingly, it was Castiel who took over.

“She is more than a demon, Anna. Abaddon is a Knight of Hell.”

Anna’s heartbeat somersaulted and she straightened, tilting her head. Castiel imitated her, bird like. It would have been funny if his last statement wasn’t still ringing in her ears like a gong.

“Th - there’s no such thing,” Anna stammered. “Everybody knows the Knights of Hell are a myth.”

But Castiel was shaking his head, a small, compassionate frown on his not-so-blank face. “No, Anna. While it _is_ true that we thought they had all been killed a long time ago, there is tangible proof of their existence. The Men of Letters…” he trailed off when Dean elbowed him in the ribs, and cleared his throat. Anna decided to store this tidbit of information for later. “There is enough proof. What we didn’t know was that Abaddon was still waiting for her time to rise.”

“Have you heard of the Saint Magdalena Massacre?” Sam piped in.

Anna shivered. Of course, she had heard of it; it had haunted her nights for weeks. It had happened a few months ago – nine nuns had been slain, throats cut open on the altar. The tenth nun of the coven, Sister Josie Sands, had disappeared by the time the police had arrived. _On the run,_ they had said. _Cold-blooded murder,_ they had said. _Psychotic episode_ , they had said, and Josie Sands had never been seen again.

“I remember,” Anna said.

“It wasn’t a pointless massacre,” Castiel stated, voice even lower than before. “It was a ritual. From the blood of the virtuous, Abaddon was called. From the desecration of holy grounds, her strength was restored. From the sacrifice of the unwilling host, she rose.”

The following silence was heavy. That is, until Meg snorted and rolled her eyes.

“Gee, dramatic much, Clarence?” She turned to Anna, lips pinched. “What he means is that Abaddon is back, and after the nuns she went on a killing spree for no apparent reason. There have been disappearances, too, but these mutts don’t know if they’re related.”

Anna swallowed the bitter saliva that had slowly filled her mouth during Castiel’s speech.

“What does this have to do with me?” she asked faintly, fearing the answer. Meg stared at her, gaze serious.

“Two of the victims committed suicide, another had a heart attack. The last one was found dead in his bed. It was like his brain had imploded.” She paused, licking her chapped lips. Anna waited with bated breath. “All of them had been in contact with very powerful, very dark magic. And all of them were found to have suffered from severe hallucinations and sleep deprivation.”

Anna’s intake of breath was sharp, loud in the eerie room.

“It means…” she trailed off, unable to finish her sentence.

“It means,” Castiel said quietly, “that a Knight of Hell is responsible for your sickness, and we have no idea how to stop it.”

 

 

~¤~¤~

# Part II

~¤~¤~

 

_"Take care now! For surely, if he does not escape, with God's help I think we can clear his head of all the madness and insanity. But we must be on our way at once! For I recall a certain ointment with which Morgan the Wise presented me, saying there was no delirium of the head which it would not cure.”_

_Yvain, The Knight of the Lion, pt.4_

 

Dean was tense. Anna looked at him from the corner of her eye, trying to decipher the signals his body was sending. His hands, white-knuckled with repressed anger, were clenched around the steering wheel. He was probably reeling from the heated conversation he had shared with his brother earlier.

 _“We can’t let her die, Dean_ ,” Sam had shouted while Castiel observed them with the closed-off expression of someone who’s wondering whether to intervene.

“ _I know that, Sam,”_ Dean had snapped. “ _This just ain’t the right solution. Who knows if she’ll even help? We both know what happened last time she ‘helped' you_ , _right?_ ”

Sam had blanched and physically recoiled, and Anna had guessed that the subject was a touchy one.

Eventually it was her input that had settled the matter.

 _“I want to go,”_ she’d said. “ _I don’t want to die. I’ll do whatever it takes_.”

Anna was cold. She was tired. The blur of the medication was fading slowly and she could feel the visions perking up in the back of her mind, lurking like rabid animals ready to attack.

“You okay?” Dean asked gruffly after a few minutes of silence. Anna shrugged, wincing as her sore muscles sent a stab of pain through her ribs.

“Not really. I will be, though,” she replied, staring out the window. Night was falling and the landscape blurred in front of her eyes, caught in the bluish light. It was more than a little surreal to find herself here. It was so out of her comfort zone, so foreign, that she couldn’t help feeling slightly nauseous.

“Yeah,” Dean said, and Anna gave him a mental pat on the back for at least trying to sound like he believed his own words. “You’ll be okay.” His fingers drummed a nervous beat on the steering wheel. The forest was dark and dense around them.

“Where does this…this Ruby live?” Anna asked eventually, trying to inject some courage into her voice. The car turned off sharply, onto a dirt road that Anna hadn't even seen. Dean snorted.

“In the middle of freaking nowhere. She’s not what you’d call a philanthropist.”

Well, that wasn’t ominous at all. Anna pressed her lips together and clenched her hands into fists to keep from fiddling with anything she could find. Dean seemed to sense her unease. When he spoke, his voice was softer, almost apologetic.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay. Ruby’s…she’s…something else. She and my brother Sam kind of have a history…but she’ll help you. Just don’t let her get to you. She can be an asshole, sometimes.”

Anna smiled weakly. “It’s alright. I can be an asshole, too.”

Dean shot her a disbelieving glance but kept his mouth shut. The road was bumpy and unkempt, curving into the forest like a snake. It was longer than Anna had expected. Branches scratched the sides of the car, and with each one, Dean winced.

And then –

Then the cabin appeared. It was…a cabin. In the woods. Anna couldn’t help it. She snorted. Dean’s eyebrows shot up and his lips twisted into a wry smile.

“She’s living the cliché,” he explained. Anna smirked and nodded, eyeing the cabin as the car came to a halt. A battered pick-up was parked out front. The whole scene was a little gloomy, like the pictures of haunted houses she saw as a kid when she sneaked into her father’s office to peek at his books. She took a deep breath and got out of the car, wiping her clammy hands on the back of her jeans.

 _Witches_. She’d always hated them, ever since her father had died at the hands of one. But she had no choice, not this time. Better suck it up and keep going.

They climbed the rotten steps leading to the porch, Dean grumbling under his breath. When he knocked, the door opened almost immediately.

Anna stared.

And stared again.

The woman leaning against the door frame was _not_ what she had expected. She was young, for one thing – about Anna’s age, dressed in a leather jacket and casual jeans, dark eyes heavy with kohl. A sneer twisted her lips when her eyes fell upon Dean. She nodded coolly in his direction before turning her gaze to Anna.

“Ruby,” Dean said through gritted teeth. “This is Anna. Anna, Ruby.”

Ruby stayed silent for a moment and Anna wondered what she was supposed to do. Offering her hand seemed like the obvious thing, but something held her back. She stayed still, staring back unabashedly.

“Mm,” Ruby said. She had a nice voice. “So you’re the cursed one, right?”

Anna straightened and nodded, holding Ruby’s gaze stubbornly.

“Apparently.”

Ruby looked at her some more, assessing, before finally, _finally_ stepping back and opening the door wide. Silently, Anna and Dean stepped inside. The cabin was sparsely furnished. The walls were bare, save for a line of sigils drawn with what looked like blood. Anna didn’t dwell on that. A camp bed sat in a corner, unmade.

Breathing in the smell of spices and dust, Anna thought _it feels safe_.

The table was cluttered with papers, flasks, and jars full of unidentified powders. Anna hovered awkwardly next to Dean, watching Ruby rummage through them with a frown. Anna noticed that she avoided looking at Dean, and wondered what this _history_ that Dean had mentioned was.

 _None of your business_ , she chided herself. Ruby made a pleased sound and Anna’s attention snapped back to her. She was holding a leather-bound journal – _grimoire_ , Anna’s memory supplied.

“You,” Ruby snapped, jerking her chin in Anna’s direction. “Come here.”

Anna cringed at Ruby’s rudeness, biting back a scathing remark. She took a step forward, looking hesitantly at Dean over her shoulder. When he nodded, she crossed the distance between her and the witch, trying to convey the force of her contempt in a single glare. Ruby snorted and shook her head, lips twisting in a wry smile.

“I already like you,” she murmured as Anna got closer. Her voice was a low and dark whisper, and she shuffled closer until Anna could breathe in her smell of soap and skin. She tried to hold back a shiver when Ruby peered into her eyes with clinical interest. Seconds ticked by in silence, and Anna was starting to grow uncomfortable when Ruby’s eyes flashed black. It was a pure, deep absence of color, terrifying and powerful.

 _Witch sight_ , Anna thought, trying her best not to recoil in disgust. _It’s just her witch sight_.

Ruby blinked slowly and stepped back. She looked wary now, a nervous twitch to her jaw.

“This curse stinks of the Demon Witch,” she said. Her voice wavered on the name, and Anna felt her pulse quicken; she knew how to recognize fear, and Ruby wasafraid. For some reason, this was surprising.

“You’re right,” Dean said from behind Anna. Ruby’s eyes flicked to him before returning to Anna, this time without sarcasm or contempt. Anna held her gaze, trying to say with her eyes what she couldn’t voice.

 _Help me_ , _please. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to see this anymore._

Ruby’s expression slowly morphed in something that almost looked like pity. Anna clenched her jaw, fighting the urge to escape.

“You do realize that taking her in could kill me,” she said slowly.

Anna heard Dean sigh.

“Yeah, Ruby. I know.” He sounded defeated, and Anna’s stomach dropped. _No_. _Don’t do this to me. I can’t go back there_.

Ruby looked stricken by Dean’s admission. Her face became pallid and she turned her back to them, hands coming up to lean on the table. Anna watched as her back slowly moved in time with her deep breaths, as her knuckles turned white.

“Okay,” she said at last. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

~¤~¤~

Anna stared through the window as Dean’s car pulled away with a roar. She slipped her hand into her pocket and felt the corner of the business card Dean had handed her before taking off, muttering that he’d check up on her and to call if there was any problem. She hoped she wouldn’t need to call.

The night was dark as molasses this far from the city. She wondered if there were any stars. Probably not; the winter days here were gray and choking. Starless skies, stinging wind.

Anna hated it.

Reality was starting to blur; she could hear Ruby moving around in the cabin, the clanking sounds of various jars being opened and the rustling of boiling water. But there was something calling her from within her own head, a scream of agony.

 _They’re here_ , she wanted to say. _Help me_. Ruby hadn’t broken the silence since Dean had disappeared into his car.

Anna wouldn’t be the first one to speak.

She inhaled deeply, trying her best to keep her eyes open despite the sting. She could feel tears welling, but she didn’t give up.

She was stronger than this. She was stronger than them.

A hand wrapped around her wrist and Anna felt herself relax. Touch. Touch was good, touch was real.

“Hey, are you okay?” Ruby asked, her tone gentler than Anna had heard it before. Dean’s absence had relaxed the hard set of her voice, and she suddenly sounded less impressive. Everything seemed muted in this small haven, surrounded by night. The light of the candle was flickering against the walls and when she turned, Ruby’s face had lost its sharp edge.

Anna smiled feebly and shrugged in answer.

“Well, come and sit on the sofa,” Ruby said. “I have something for you.”

Anna complied wordlessly, watching Ruby askance. There was a smudge of dust on her forehead, and she resisted the urge to wipe at it with her thumb. She was still staring when Ruby nudged her hand, smiling wryly. She was holding a cup of something, eyebrows raised questioningly. Anna accepted it, nodding her thanks. Warmth spread into her hand through the porcelain; it smelled like flowers and mulled wine, something potent that made her head spin.

“What is this?” she asked, finger skimming over the rim of the cup to collect a few wayward drops.

“Calming draught,” Ruby answered. “It’ll keep your visions at bay for the night.”

Relief washing over her, Anna nodded. She took a cautious sip. The taste was sweet and bitter at the same time, raspy on her tongue. She drank in silence, glancing at Ruby from time to time. Ruby was still, almost unnaturally so.

“Can I ask you a question?” Anna blurted out eventually. Her voice seemed too loud, slicing the silence like a blade. She put her cup on the coffee table and watched as Ruby came back to reality. She shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest, an oddly defensive gesture.

“Yeah,” Ruby said curtly. The weight of her gaze, intent on Anna, made her shiver.

“Can you do it?” Anna’s voice didn’t shake; neither did her hands. She turned on the sofa to look straight into Ruby’s eyes. She could pinpoint the exact moment she understood what Anna meant, comprehension slackening her features for a split second. The question had been burning Anna’s lips for hours. Voicing it made the now-familiar fear settle back in her guts.

“You mean…can I break the curse?”

Anna nodded. Ruby let out a short breath and sat down next to her. Their knees were touching now, Anna noticed. She didn’t try to shift away.

“I have no idea,” Ruby said after a beat, honesty coloring her tone. “But I know one thing for sure: there _is_ a counter-curse. And I’ll do my best to find it.” Her knee nudged Anna’s, deliberate, and she shot her a quick smile. “I promise.”

And Anna, for all she tried not to, Anna believed her.

~¤~¤~

One week passed before anything happened. Every day followed the same slow schedule. They woke up almost at the same time, Anna’s back sore from the sofa and her head blurred. At first, there were no dreams; Ruby made sure of that, and Anna gulped down any potion presented to her with a level of trust she tried not to dwell on. However, as the days trickled by, she could feel the blurred edges of the curse struggling against the draughts. She could feel it shifting, ready to wake up, and she tried not to show how terrified she really was.

Ruby, surprisingly, was an easy person to live with. She was broody, prone to mood swings, and sarcastic, there was no denying that. But underneath the prickly personality, Anna discovered that Ruby wasn’t that different from her. She was a woman of few words, speaking only when it really mattered. When she did speak, Anna always made sure to listen carefully. Ruby was a talented witch, that much she’d gathered, but she kept her past carefully behind locked doors. She never once mentioned Sam, or the shared past that Dean had mentioned. She spent hours bent over her grimoires, and sometimes she turned black eyes toward Anna, looking into her for the curse.

Sometimes she asked questions. Anna found herself talking about her job at the Roadhouse, about her friends, few as they were. She carefully avoided talking about her family, and Ruby thankfully didn’t pry.

Surprisingly enough, they worked.

The eighth day began like any other, really. Anna woke up on Ruby’s sofa, huddled under a blanket, to the smell of toast and coffee and the sound of Ruby’s soft humming. She let her eyes drift closed once more, lulled by the melody. In moments like this, she could almost forget that Ruby wasn’t her friend, that she was just here to heal her and send her on her merry way. She could almost let herself believe that Ruby would slide in next to her, all warm skin and sweat and kisses.

Ruby was an attractive woman. They weren’t that frequent, the people who made Anna’s heart beat faster and her mouth dry like parchment, but Ruby, with her long eyelashes and the swaying of her hips, was surely one of them.

It wasn’t just that, though. Barely a week had passed, and with it, Anna had found her affection for Ruby growing. She was one of those rare women whose silence felt welcoming and whose words weren’t spoken in vain. It was something that Anna _craved_ , the easy companionship that had settled between them.

Anna frowned and burrowed her face into the pillow, trying to muffle her thoughts.

“Drink that, sleepyhead,” Ruby’s voice said. Anna whimpered and burrowed her face further, hoping to lapse into nonexistence by the sheer force of her thoughts. It earned her an amused snort of laughter and absolutely zero pity.

“I know you’re awake, Anna. Drink the damned potion. I don’t want to deal with another fit today.”

Anna winced at the reminder of what had happened two days before. She didn’t remember much, really. Bloodshed, her nails trying to tear the skin off her face. A woman’s voice, smoky and mesmerizing. _Come to me_ , she’d said. _Come to me_.

And Ruby. Ruby’s hand on her cheek, Ruby’s voice in her ear, muttering Latin incantations. Her smell – soap, leather, peppermint – chasing the voices away.

She sighed and sat up, blinking owlishly. Eyeing the steaming mug, she didn’t bother trying to conceal her disgust; the too-sweet aftertaste of Ruby’s potions wasn’t something she could stomach in the morning. She took it nonetheless, grunting her thanks. The fire had died during the night and the air was cold on her bare arms, a shiver trailing down her spine.

Arms akimbo, Ruby watched her down the beverage, suspicion etched on her face. As if Anna would forget that it was the only barrier between her and the nightmares. It was growing weaker, though. It wouldn’t be long before everything started all over again, eroding her sanity with cruel precision.

“Well, good morning to you too, Chatty Cathy,” Ruby said, voice laced with sarcasm. Anna had learned to read between the lines and she understood that this was Ruby’s emotionally stunted way of asking what was wrong.

“Sorry,” she muttered, looking down at the bottom of her mug. She tried to hide the way her hands were shaking. “Bad morning.”

Ruby’s smile slipped, a shadow falling over her face. It almost looked like... guilt. Eyebrows drawn together, she slinked back into the kitchenette, taking the empty mug with her. Anna stood on shaky legs and took a few wobbly steps towards the bathroom, closing the door behind her as fast as she could. The wooden floors creaked under her feet, cold and merciless. Leaning on the sink, she glanced in the mirror, at the stark outline of her cheekbones and the twist of her mouth. Something was burning, just under the surface of her skin. Spreading. Anna touched her cheek, letting the icy feeling of her fingers soothe away the burn for a second.

A knock.

“Anna.”

Anna didn’t answer, pressing her nails into her skin until she felt the sting, _real_ , so real.

“Anna, open the door.” Ruby’s voice was bossy and frustrated. She felt the smile blossom on her lips, stretching muscles that she’d forgotten she even had. She trailed a finger over her mouth.

“I’m peeing,” she called out, biting her lip to force the smile away.

Silence.

“No, you’re not.”

Anna sighed and turned the key in the lock. Ruby’s eyes were warm, warmer than Anna had ever seen them. Warm with concern, maybe affection. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, Anna noticed belatedly. It was a good look on her – it softened the severe set of her jaw, blurred her features into something almost attainable.

“What’s happening, Anna?” Ruby asked gently.

Anna shrugged, curling her toes on the floor and twirling a strand of hair around her finger. She felt exposed, wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and shorts that clung to her too-thin thighs.

“You know, same old. I miss my friends. There’s a demon trying to get into my head.” Her voice was sharper than she’d intended it to be. Mouth dry, tongue rasping sand on her palate, she went on. “I’m scared.”

Ruby didn’t tell her that everything would be okay. They both knew that would be a lie. Instead she nudged past Anna, expression unreadable.

When Ruby turned around, Anna realized how close they were – barely a breath away from each other, really. She shivered, heart pounding with trepidation.

“Do you trust me?” Ruby asked quietly, disentangling the strand from Anna’s finger and tucking it behind her ear almost absently. Her fingertips lingered on Anna’s cheek, soothing and achingly familiar. The gesture sent a pang of warmth – the good kind – travelling through Anna’s belly. It was pure _lust_ , something she hadn’t felt in months.

“Yes,” she rasped, and was surprised to find it was the truth. “Yes. I do,” she said more forcefully. Ruby was surprised, that much was obvious. A flicker of emotion – vulnerable, shivering – crossed her features and disappeared as fast as it had come.

She was fidgeting with the sleeve of her plaid shirt, and Anna’s gaze followed the jerky movements of her hand. Anything to forget how soft her mouth looked. How inviting.

“There’s something I haven’t tried yet,” Ruby said eventually, and Anna’s eyes snapped back to her face. There was a ‘but’ there, a slight hesitation. She waited patiently for Ruby to explain, the edge of the sink digging painfully into her hip.

“It’s…well. It’s a spell. I’ve never…I’ve never used it. It’s dangerous.”

Anna raised an eyebrow wordlessly. _Dangerous_ had taken a whole new definition since her own mind had started to attack her. Ruby seemed to understand what she wasn’t saying out loud, tipping her head in acknowledgment. Somewhere, a faucet was leaking, the quiet _plock_ of a drop disturbing the silence.

“It’s not…just that, though. It’s – it’s quite frowned upon. It’s really complex magic. Really invasive, too.”

Anna didn’t like the sound of that. She frowned and shot Ruby a withering look to hasten her explanation.

“It’s…” Ruby licked her lips and shuffled uncomfortably. “It’s a very old spell. It was used by the Necromancers before the Great Regulation.”

Anna blinked, stuck on _Necromancers_.

“Ruby,” she said slowly. “You are aware that I’m not _dead_ , right?”

A little of the tension left Ruby’s shoulders and she rolled her eyes. “Thank you, Anna. It’s – actually, it’s the same thing. They used to cast it when someone was in a coma. It’s – basically, I’d be getting into your head. Literally.” She looked around, rubbing at her chin. “Can we do this somewhere else than in the bathroom?”

“No,” Anna answered imperiously. Ruby nodded tightly, as if she’d been expecting this answer. “What exactly do you mean _into my head?_ You want to read my mind? How in Heaven would that help?”

Ruby rubbed her chin and scowled, stepping back. Anna suddenly felt cold without the warmth of Ruby’s body close to hers. She squashed the thought and waited for an answer, glaring at Ruby when she failed to give it.

“It’d be more…more like dream walking,” Ruby said eventually, picking her words carefully. “I’d be in your mind and I’d…look around for the core of the curse. That way, I’d be able to study it.” She sighed. “You know, Anna, the problem is less that the curse is a complex one than that I don’t know _what_ it is. My sight is – there are interferences. I have no idea why, but your mind seems to have a …shield, for lack of a better word.”

Anna frowned even harder, crossing her arms against her chest. “That makes no sense,” she said. It came out harsher than she'd intended it to, and Ruby cringed.

“Hey, I don’t know everything! It’s not my fault, I’m doing the best I can,” she said. When Anna failed to answer, she rolled her eyes and stomped away. The door slammed behind her. Leaning against the sink, Anna sighed and closed her eyes.

“Fuck,” she said to the empty bathroom.

It wasn’t like she had much of a choice.

~¤~¤~

 “So, what now?” Anna asked, flopping down on the couch with a sigh. Ruby had spent what felt like the whole day on the phone, leaving Anna to feel strangely bereft. She’d read, she’d drawn, trying to tune out Ruby’s laugh and bury the pang of envy she emphatically _hadn’t_ felt.

“Now…” Ruby sighed, following Anna’s example and lowering herself onto the couch with a grunt. Anna rolled her eyes. It wasn’t like Ruby had _done_ anything actually tiring today. “Now, we wait for the ingredients.”

“What ingredients?”

Ruby glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. The expression was so _Ruby_ that Anna had to fight down her laughter.

“ _Well_ …” Ruby drawled. “The ingredients. For the spell.”

Oh.

Anna shot Ruby a sheepish smile and nodded, rubbing her toes together. It was cold, and her thin sweater didn’t stop her from shivering. Ruby noticed, of course. Ruby noticed everything. She got to her feet with a sigh, shuffling towards the fireplace to aggressively poke the fire. Eyes narrowed, Anna watched her as she  crossed the room, muttering to herself. She opened the cupboard in which Anna knew she kept her potions. Anna heard various clinking noises, and when Ruby made a little sound of victory and straightened, she eyed the bottle in her hands with suspicion. The liquid was clear, almost water-like. In her experience, those were always the worst.

“Is that another one of your awful magic potions?”

Ruby, for some reason, started laughing.

“You could say that,” she said, shoulders shaking in time with her giggles. Trying very hard not to feel offended, Anna craned her neck, trying to see what she was doing. No dice. She sighed and groped around for the soft plaid quilt that she’d left crumpled in the morning. She carefully wrapped her feet with it, sighing in comfort as the soft wool warmed her freezing toes.

When Ruby came back, she was holding two small glasses and the bottle.

“It’s vodka,” she explained helpfully when Anna failed to take hers. Anna frowned, sniffed at the liquid. Only a vague smell of alcohol. There was nothing funky in it.

“Come on, I’m not gonna poison you,” Ruby said. The couch dipped when she slumped on it, stealing a corner of Anna’s blanket to tuck her own feet underneath. Their toes touched. Anna tried to hide her shiver.

“I know,” she said softly. “I just…” she sighed, and the movement made her bare foot slip under Ruby’s. Ruby’s sock-clad toes curled in surprise, but she didn’t try to move. Oh, this was a _bad idea_. “What’s the occasion?” she finished dumbly, trying not to notice how dry her throat was.

Ruby shrugged. “Do we need an occasion to get drunk?” Anna didn’t want to look at her, but she couldn’t get away with staring at the wall for the whole night. She shifted on the sofa and turned her head, only to find Ruby’s eyes on her. She glanced down sharply, eyeing her glass with renewed interest.

“Well… Cheers, then,” she said awkwardly, not waiting for an response before downing her drink in one long gulp. She screwed her eyes shut when the hot burn of alcohol trailed along her throat, bubbling into her stomach and making her dizzy. She almost never drank; her job basically consisted in dealing with drunks and it was more than enough to keep her from wanting to hit the bottle.

Well, it was usually, anyway. Usually, when she didn’t have a mortal curse trying to scare her, quite literally, to death. Or a crush on a broody witch.

Ruby called her name and Anna opened her eyes reluctantly. Everything was too bright, and she pondered the idea of standing up to turn off the light. She decided against it. She’d only just started to get warm, the blanket and the vodka helping.

“Want more?” Ruby was asking. Her own glass was empty, but she seemed as unfazed as ever. Anna didn’t think twice. She nodded and let Ruby fill her glass to the brim. Their eyes met, and Anna’s hand stopped halfway to her mouth. There was _warmth_ in Ruby’s gaze. Fondness, and maybe something else. Something that she knew very well. She bit her lip and Ruby’s eyes flicked to her mouth for a split-second.

Her hand wavered and a drop of vodka fell on her lap, snapping her back to reality. Ruby smiled and her gaze lost some of its calm intimacy.

Anna sighed and took a drink.

It was going to be a long night.

~¤~¤~

“The thing is,” Anna said, trying to ignore the way her tongue seemed a little too big for her mouth. “The thing is, I don’t _know_ why you’re trynna’ help me.”

Ruby, who had lost her composure somewhere around their third shot, slowly raised an eyebrow. It was probably meant to convey sarcasm, but as it was, Anna thought it rather looked like she had a weird case of facial paralysis. She giggled, hiding her mouth in the crook of her elbow.

“Are you laughing at me?” Ruby asked, voice rough, but she was smiling. “And what d’you mean, you don’t _know_? I mean, Dean asked me to, yes?”

Anna nodded earnestly, realizing too late that the question was meant to be rhetorical.

“Yeah,” she mumbled, eyes fixed on Ruby’s face. Her cheeks were reddened. It was pretty. “But what’s in it for you?”

Ruby’s smile slipped away as fast as it had come. She closed her eyes and shifted closer to Anna, leaning against her side.

“I think I felt guilty,” Ruby said, so quietly Anna almost missed it. There were questions burning her tongue, but she held them in. She had the feeling that pushing too hard would only scare Ruby away.

“Y’know,” Ruby said without opening her eyes. “I wasn’t always a nice, fluffy sorceress.”

Anna snorted inwardly at the idea of Ruby being anything close to ‘fluffy’, but she carefully kept her mouth closed.

“I mean, I fucked up big time in the past. ‘d I tell you that? I was young.” Her eyes snapped open. “Nah. _We_ were young. And stupid. And we thought we were invincible. We were kind of in love, too, I guess.”

Anna ignored the pang of stupid, irrational jealousy those words sent through her chest.

“You and…?” she pressed, taking the half-empty bottle from the floor to fill her glass. Ruby scowled, eyes still closed, and brandished her own glass imperiously.

“Me and Sam fucking Winchester.”

She said it like it was a joke, voice derisive and a smirk curling her lips. Anna nodded to herself. So there _had_ been something between the two of them. She wasn’t that surprised, really.

“We messed up big time. Well, _I_ messed up. He followed me into it. We played with things we shouldn’t have. We tried to get more powerful. By the way, you know what? That whole ‘don’t fuck with the dark side of the force’ thing? Kinda true.”

Anna blinked slowly, sobered.

“Ruby,” she said. “Does that…Is Sam Winchester a witch, too?”

Ruby snorted, opening her eyes to peer at Anna.

“Well, _yeah_ ,” she said, rolling her eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Damn right he is. And a good one, too. Freaky psychic powers and a natural talent for telekinesis.” She shook her head and finished her glass. “A real freak in bed, too,” she murmured dreamily.

Ugh. _Ugh_.

“Well, that was something I didn’t want to know,” Anna grumbled, but Ruby didn’t seem to hear her. She was staring at Anna, eyes narrowed in thought. Anna shifted uncomfortably, feeling with renewed acuteness how close they were. Ruby’s side was warm against hers, and her fingers kept grazing Anna’s thigh every time she so much as twitched.

“What?” Anna asked, voice barely a whisper. Ruby’s eyes were dark and hungry, roaming her face as if looking for something. Her thick eyelashes stood out starkly in the shadows – and when had the lights been turned out? Anna had no idea. The only source of light was the flames in the fireplace. They were dancing, sending flickers of orange gleaming across Ruby’s pale skin.

It was breathtaking.

“I wanna kiss you,” Ruby whispered, and Anna’s heart leaped into her throat, pounding so fast it felt like it was going to stop with the sheer force of it. Surely, this couldn’t be healthy.

Ruby’s lips were full, a bit chapped, and it didn’t take much to lean just a bit closer and kiss them. Ruby let out a surprised, muffled sound, but when Anna tried to draw back, her hand shot up, grabbing the back of her neck and pulling her closer.

“Don’t you dare,” she muttered against Anna’s lips. Pulling back just a little, she peered anxiously into Anna’s eyes.

“Are you drunk?” she asked. The slur from earlier was gone from her voice. Anna frowned, biting her lips.

“I’m a little buzzed. You?”

“This is a bad idea,” Ruby sighed against her cheek, ignoring the question completely. Her lips grazed Anna’s ear, sending a shiver through her whole body.

“Yeah, it is,” she gasped, arching as Ruby’s hands slipped under her t-shirt, fingers warm against the sensitive skin of her belly.

“Don’t stop. Please,” she breathed, hooking her arm around Ruby’s hips and tugging her closer. Getting the message, Ruby hoisted herself up with a wry smile, straddling Anna’s knees. Her hands returned to Anna’s shirt with more purpose, stroking her sides with relish. Ruby cupped her breasts and Anna gasped, throwing her head back.

“You’re not wearing a bra,” Ruby whispered, eyes dark. Anna could only shake her head, mouth open on a silent moan as Ruby’s fingers moved up, rubbing her nipples and sending sparks of arousal down her stomach. Her hands had been resting passively at Ruby’s hips. That wouldn’t do, she decided. She tugged at the hem of Ruby’s shirt and let out a sigh of disappointment when the hands slipped away from her skin. Ruby let out a short laugh and lifted her arms to allow her shirt to come off, revealing a flat, toned stomach and heavy breasts in a plain white bra.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Anna sighed. The alcohol had loosened her tongue, but she felt herself blush and hoped that the dim light would hide it.

“Thanks,” Ruby said wryly, moving down until her knees touched the floor. Anna had to bite back a moan at the glorious sight, Ruby, eyes dark and hair disheveled, kneeling between her legs like she belonged here, in some sort of blasphemous parody of a prayer. Before Anna knew it, her pants were on the floor and she was quivering with trepidation.

“Do something,” she whispered. Ruby chuckled and leaned in. Anna could feel her warm breath through the damp cotton of her panties. It was either too much or not nearly enough.

Then Ruby’s hand dipped under the elastic and this time, Anna did moan, loud and unabashed as those clever fingers stroked along her lips, never quite going where she really wanted them.

“Ruby,” Anna said, and then her panties were tugged out of the way and Ruby’s mouth was on her, replacing her fingers.

Anna gasped, back arching and legs falling open. Ruby made an appreciative moan and started lapping at her clit in earnest. The sight that greeted her when she opened her eyes was almost enough to finish her. Ruby’s hand had disappeared between her own legs, moving in time with her licks. Anna’s hand shot up, tugging Ruby, wordlessly pleading her to go _harder, faster_. Ruby complied happily, moaning, and Anna gritted her teeth as the sound vibrated on her skin.

She came silently, fingers digging in Ruby’s hair, breath punched out of her. Ruby didn’t last long after that, biting into the soft skin of Anna’s thigh as she let out a quiet gasp.

They dozed off together on the lumpy couch, Ruby’s arm around Anna’s waist and Anna’s face tucked in the crook of Ruby’s neck.

There were worse ways to fall asleep. 

 

~¤~¤~

The person who came to deliver the ingredients was a pretty British woman who introduced herself as Bela, looking Anna up and down before shooting her a slightly fake smile. She and Ruby seemed to be on friendly terms, if slightly tense.

They hadn’t talked about the night before, but to Anna’s surprise, no awkwardness existed between them. It was like both of them knew that they had to put this... _thing_ between them on hold if they wanted to get somewhere.

Which is how Anna found herself lying on her back on the floor, trying not to pay too much attention to the weird-smelling things Ruby was burning in a large metal bowl nearby. It smelled like incense and blood, an odd mix it there ever was one.

“Ready?” Ruby asked. _No_ , Anna didn’t say. She didn’t think she’d ever be ready for something like this.

She nodded.

When Ruby started chanting, the smoke coming out of the bowl thickened and darkened, and the unsettling smell turned foul and gritty. Anna closed her eyes, trying to quell her nervousness. It didn’t work.

Then, Ruby laid a hand on her forehead, and a searing pain shot through her skull.

 _See you,_ Ruby’s voice said. Anna didn't answer.

~¤~¤~

When Anna opened her eyes, she wasn’t greeted by the nightmare visions she’d expected. Instead she found herself staring at a wall. It was white – a white so pure it was almost blinding. She was standing in the middle of a white room. That was all she could say about it – there were no ornaments, no colors, no smells. Only white.

It was unsettling, to say the least.

“What the hell?” she muttered in disbelief, staring at the way her shadow stood out in stark detail on the white floor. Except that Anna, the last time she’d checked, didn’t have not one, but _two_ pairs of enormous wings sprouting from her back. Horrified, she craned her neck, trying to see behind her.

Nothing.

“Guess again,” Ruby’s voice said from somewhere to her right. Anna sprang around, heart jumping, a shout caught in her throat.

“Smooth,” Ruby drawled. She was leaning against a wall, arms crossed casually. Anna hated her.

“Where _were_ you?” she hissed. “And what do you mean, _guess again_? Do you know what this place is?”

Ruby looked around, eyebrows raised.

“Nope,” she said eventually. “I was kinda hoping you’d tell me, what with us being in your head and all. But it sure isn’t Hell. Too clean.”

 _Don’t ask_ , Anna thought. She looked around once more, taking in the frustratingly empty room. She didn’t dignify Ruby’s snark with an answer, and after a moment, the witch sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Buy a clue, Anna. We’re in your _head_. Make us, I don’t know, a door. Anything.” She tapped her foot against the floor impatiently. Anna’s eyes widened. Taking a step back, she observed the wall dubiously.

“Right,” she said slowly. “Um. I’d like a door.” “Please,” she added as an afterthought.

Ruby snorted. Anna ignored her.

Nothing happened.

“Aw, crap,” Ruby said, looking up with a tired expression. Anna followed her gaze, frowning.

Still nothing happened.

“Ruby, wha –“

The ceiling collapsed in on itself, filling the room with a blindingly clear light. Feeling her eyelids close in protest, Anna tried to get closer to Ruby, but found she couldn’t move.

Anna screamed.

Nothing.

~¤~¤~

She opened her eyes to her father’s smiling face, and closed them again instantly.

Familiar. It was too familiar. The smells – pine, dad’s aftershave. Her mom’s voice as she sang an old lullaby in the adjacent room – her parent’s bedroom.

It felt wrong, but Anna couldn’t for the life of her remember why.

“Hello, princess,” her dad said softly. “Time to wake up.”

The voice was soothing, warm and smooth like old leather. Anna stirred and blinked slowly. A sunbeam tickled her nose.

“That’s my girl,” he said, oblivious to her confusion. He spun around, whistling to himself.

“Wouldn’t want me to leave without you, now, would you?” he said before leaving Anna’s room.

Anna sat up slowly, looking around. A cold dread was squirming in the pit of her stomach, for no apparent reason. Everything was so... normal. It was her room. Her room, her old childhood teddy bear with the missing eye sitting on the top shelf, her white and blue striped sheets.

“Where’s Ruby?” she asked aloud. Blinked.

“Who is Ruby?” another familiar voice asked. Startled, Anna looked around. Her mom was leaning against the door frame, a soft smile on her face.

“I have no idea,” Anna answered, quite truthfully. “I had a weird dream.”

Her mom shook her head, her short red hair gleaming in the morning light. She looked content. Happy. For some reason, that felt wrong, too.

“Hurry up, Anna. You know how your father gets when he isn’t by the sea at nine.”

“He says that the fish leave if he’s not there in time,” Anna answered automatically, rolling her eyes and relishing the way the familiar words felt on her tongue. She slipped out of bed and looked around for her clothes. Sure enough, they were folded on her desk.

Her mom laughed and shook her head fondly. The sound startled something in Anna, and she rubbed at her forehead in an attempt to dissipate the weird feeling.

“You two are odd ducks.”

“You love it,” Anna shot back, slipping into her jeans.

Everything was alright.

~¤~¤~

Anna had always loved the seaside. Inhaling deeply, she tipped her head back and let the sun caress her face. It was a warm morning, and the sea was calm. She was knee deep in cool water, soothed by the regular, calm noise of the waves crashing against the sand.

It was perfect.

And then suddenly it wasn’t anymore.

She turned to see where her father was – he was supposed to bring her a fishing rod – and saw him.

He was lying on the sand, shaking from head to toe.

“DAD!” Anna yelled. She tried to run, but the water unbalanced her and she fell. Spluttering, soaking wet, she hurriedly rose to her feet and hastened towards him.

“Dad,” she said again, dropping breathlessly on the sand beside him. He didn’t answer, except for a wet gurgle.

“It’s a dream,” she sobbed, “It’s just a dream. It’s not real, it’s not real…” But her dad was still on the ground, deep red blood pouring out of his mouth in a continuous flow. The air was too warm, thick and salty against her skin. There was nobody around. W _hy wasn’t there anybody around?_ Nobody could help her.

Her father coughed, chin smeared with crimson, and another wrecked sob tore its way through Anna’s chest. She was calling a name, she realized. _Ruby_.

“Anna…” her father rasped. His face was white as a sheet, and Anna could see his soul try to escape his mouth. Horrified, she clasped her hands to his lips, watching with increasing terror as the pale, smoky light seeped between her fingers.

“ _N_ _o no no_ ,” she muttered. “Don’t die. Please, don’t die. Don’t leave us.”

But his eyes had lost their last spark of life, staring unseeingly at the gray sky. Lifeless. Anna took a shuddering breath and slowly lifted her bloodied hands from his mouth. She was crying, desperate sobs that hurt more than they soothed.

Then she heard it. A voice. A woman’s voice screaming her name.

“Ruby?” she asked, and this time, a flash of dark eyes and a warm voice flickered through her mind. The sky had darkened, and a hissing wind had started to blow, chilling her to the bone. “RUBY!” she screamed as the wind seemed to intensify. She clutched at her father’s corpse, seized by the not-so-irrational fear that the wind would take it away.

Finally, _finally_ , she felt arms wrap around her shoulders, tugging her closer. Her back collided violently with warm curves. She didn’t struggle. She knew, instinctively, that this person was a friend.

“R – Ruby, he’s dead. He’s dead, what am I going to do?” she mumbled, fresh tears spilling on her cheeks as she gazed down at her father’s lifeless body.

“Anna,” Ruby said, pressing. “Anna, it’s not real. Nothing’s real. This is just some sort of – twisted vision. Anna, do you remember where you are?”

Anna closed her eyes, leaning her head back against Ruby’s shoulder. Memories were flooding her: the visions, the hospital, Ruby’s smile, the way she tasted.

“Not real,” she choked. “The spell. Not a vision –“ She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Memory,” she gasped as Ruby’s arms tightened around her reflexively. Ruby didn’t waste time.

“We’ve got to go,” she said. “I think I found it. And I think it’s – Anna, it knows we’re here. Somehow, she placed a sentient curse on you.” She laughed without humor. “No wonder my potions only helped you up to a point. We’ve gotta get rid of it before it gets worse. I’m starting to…see things, too.”

Anna screwed her eyes shut, struggling to retain a semblance of calm.

“Fuck,” Ruby said. There was a hysteric ring to her voice that made Anna’s eyes snap open. Ruby’s sangfroid usually fared better than hers. “Fuck, Anna. We’re going, _now_.”

She turned her head.

Gasped.

The sea had turned black. Her first thought was that it was a trick of the light. It _had_ to be a trick of the light. She blinked rapidly, but the vision didn’t change. The water…wasn’t water anymore. It had turned into a thick, foul-smelling goo that gathered menacingly in immense waves.

This time, when Ruby tried to pull her to her feet, she let go of her father’s corpse and didn’t try to resist.

“What _is_ this?” she asked blankly, trying not to inhale in order to avoid the putrid smell.

“ _This..._ ” Ruby began. There was so much terror in her voice that Anna didn’t think twice before leaning back into her arms, shuddering with disgust as the goo started rumbling deafeningly. “ _This_ is the Demon Witch. The spell is reacting this way – it must mean…I didn’t –“ she paused and Anna felt her take a shuddering breath. “I should have known.”

Tearing her gaze from the horrific sight, Anna turned around. Gathering her courage, she looked up at Ruby, horrified to find tears in her eyes.

“What are you not telling me?” she asked. Ruby closed her eyes for a second. When she opened them again, they were reddened, but a small, sad smile quirked her mouth. Her hand came up to caress Anna’s cheek.

“Do you trust me?” she whispered, so low that Anna almost didn’t hear her over the chaos that surrounded them. The ground was shaking now, and the sky had darkened with clouds. Trying to ignore the apocalyptic landscape, Anna managed a smile of her own.

“Always,” she said, and Ruby tugged her in for a quick, closed-mouthed kiss. Her eyes were sad when she pulled back, and Anna felt her heart clench in worry. Why was Ruby looking at her like it was the last time she’d be able to do so?

“Good,” Ruby said quietly, and her eyes turned black. The aura of power thickened, swirling around them like static electricity. Anna gritted her teeth to fight the gut-wrenching nausea that burst in her throat. A scream rang through her skull.

Anna closed her eyes, and everything exploded.

  ~¤~¤~

_“Do you trust me?”_

_“Always.”_

~¤~¤~

Anna opened her eyes and, for a minute of disoriented panic, thought that they were still in the horrid battlefield of her mind. White-hot pain seared into her head, and the lights were flickering wildly. Narrowing her eyes to slits, she sat down quickly.

“Ruby!” she shouted. The ground hadn’t stopped shaking, she noticed. One of Ruby’s heavy bookshelves had fallen over, spilling books and pieces of parchment everywhere.

“I’m here,” Ruby groaned from somewhere to Anna’s right. Anna found her lying on the floor. She watched as realization spread over her face, and she’d leapt to her feet and crossed the room before Anna could utter a word.

“Call Dean!” Ruby yelled over a roll of thunder. “Call him, and tell him to come now! Tell him it’s an emergency! Tell him she’s coming!”

She started rummaging in a drawer, movements jerky with panic, and Anna chose not to question her orders.

Her conversation with Dean was brief, but curse-filled. As Dean promised that they were _on their way with backup_ , Anna surveyed Ruby. She gasped when she saw her slice her arm open without flinching, using her right hand to draw sigils on the wall.

Anna had always hated feeling useless, even as a kid. Frustration battled with fear, and won out eventually when Ruby cursed and cut another wound into her forearm.

“Let me help you,” she said. “Let me _do something_.”

Ruby didn’t stop working, but nodded tightly, blood dripping from her arm and onto the ground, forming a small pool. Anna watched it coagulate with revulsion. She hated that Ruby had to weaken herself for her sake.

“Salt,” Ruby said. “Top shelf in the kitchen.”

 _Demon_ , Anna thought.

Her blood turned icy-cold as she remembered Ruby’s words, her brain connecting the dots.

 _This is the Demon Witch_.

_Tell him she’s coming._

Hands shaking, Anna gathered the heavy bags from the cupboard and did a quick job of tracing a wide ring of salt. There was a new urgency to her movements. Another roll of thunder burst out, so strong that Anna felt it resonate through her whole body. Muscles tense with panic, she watched Ruby as she wiped the bloody knife on her jeans and tucked it into her sleeve. She stepped back, muttering some kind of incantation.

The lightbulb exploded above them in a flock of red sparks, and everything fell silent. Anna straightened, reflexively grabbing Ruby’s arm to tug her inside the relative safety of the salt ring. Ruby took her hand and squeezed, swallowing nervously. Her palm was clammy and bloodied, but Anna couldn’t have cared less.

“Whatever happens…” Ruby started, and Anna didn’t want to hear it. She couldn’t.

“Don’t.” she said sharply. “Don’t say that. Nothing will happen,” she asserted. She was past the point of fear; she only felt determination, and something else – a quiet power that buzzed under her skin like a time bomb.

Ruby snorted, but said nothing.

The door opened violently, banging against the wall with a deafening crash. A gust of wind shot through the room, bringing with it the scent of sulfur and ozone. Anna felt her eyes water and she blinked rapidly to dissipate the reflexive tears.

Then the woman walked in, and Anna recognized her instantly. She’d seen her face plastered all over papers and TV screens for weeks after the St Mary’s massacre. But now she couldn’t be more different from the woman whose photograph Anna had seen. The sweet smile had been replaced with an aloof sort of self-confidence, and the traditional nun outfit had been swapped for a leather jacket and tight jeans. _Fashionable_ , Anna thought, and almost laughed out loud at the incongruity.

At the time, Anna had had trouble believing that the gentle-looking woman she kept seeing on the news, along with increasingly ridiculous rewards for her capture, was a murderer. She understood now why that was. Josie Sands had never been the one to commit the massacre; this wasn’t Josie Sands standing in front of them. The snarling, boiling heat of the Knight’s true form was her first clue, of course. Where usually a demon’s true form didn’t rouse more than a brief shudder of discomfort in Anna, now she found her eyes drawn to the sight of a heap of tails, horns, smoke, and darkness.

Abaddon’s true form was power, intelligence, and chaos in its purest shape.

 _Magnificent_ crossed her mind. The abomination of it snapped her back to reality. This creature wasn’t wearing a magically created body – she was _possessing_ someone. It was the greatest crime a demon could commit – barbaric even in the eyes of their peers.

Ruby was clutching at her hand, eyes wide and terrified, but her face was otherwise impassive and Anna felt a surge of admiration for this woman who was risking her life to stand next to her.

“Well, hello, there,” Abaddon said in an unctuous voice, smiling as her eyes went from Anna to Ruby. Her smile widened when her gaze fell upon their joined hands.

“Ah,” she sighed. “The wonders of young love.”

Anna resisted the urge to take her hand back. She didn’t answer, lifting her chin defiantly. Abaddon didn’t seem deterred.

“Well, aren’t you a sweet little thing,” she said, looking Anna up and down. Her eyes seemed to bore right through her, and the idea made her shudder.

“What do you want from me?” she asked, ignoring the way Ruby’s hand tightened in alarm. Abaddon laughed, a clear sound at odds with the hellish vision of her body.

“Well,” she said softly. “I want _you_ , angel.” She paused, licking her lips. “Or rather, I want what you represent.”

She stepped forward, eyeing the salt ring with a smirk. With the tip of her shoe, she broke it. Anna stopped breathing when she entered it without flinching. She was close, so _close_ that Anna could feel tendrils of her true form brushing her skin.

“Did you know, angel, that the Knights of Hell are not dead?”

Anna blinked slowly, trying not to betray her surprise. Abaddon saw right through her, though, and chuckled amiably. “No, I bet you didn’t. The only thing that can kill a Knight of Hell is an archangel. Or, well. Another Knight of Hell.” She flashed a smirk, and Anna caught sight of a pointy canine. Mind working furiously, she pressed her lips in a tight line and shuffled closer to Ruby. “The Men of Letters’ little…party was efficient. They reduced them to almost nothing – just a smudge of frozen power. But they forgot little, old, unkillable me. And I made them _pay_.” The flash of sudden fury burning in her eyes was breathtaking. Abaddon smiled.

“I found a…spell. A counter-spell, rather. Really old, very powerful, all that jazz,” she waved her hand dismissively. Ruby had tensed at the mention of a spell, and Anna was dying to step in front of her. She didn’t bat an eyelash.

“What does this have to do with me?” she asked. Abaddon’s laugh was delighted, and a flash of lightning flickered outside.

“Well, sweetheart, you’re _part_ of it. You know, really old magic, they weren’t playing around. I’m talking _blood_ magic. And you –” her cold, slender fingers patted Anna on the cheek. “ _You_ are the missing ingredient. I have sacrificed ten innocent souls to the fires of Hell. I have assembled all the parts. Except…you.”

She looked almost awed, for a second, as she gazed down at Anna.

“The last of the Fallen.”

Ruby’s gasp registered in Anna’s brain, but the sense of Abaddon’s words stayed obscure. Something was tugging at the back of her mind, like an old wound that had just reopened.

“I – I don’t understand.”

Abaddon smiled.

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t need you to,” she said, and the sudden iciness of her voice clued Anna in to her intentions a split second before she acted on them. Ruby must have felt it, too, because she tugged at Anna’s arm, sending her to the ground and stepping forward, eyes night-dark.

Abaddon laughed again, the sound more manic now. Her eyes, when she opened them, were blacker than ink, and her power crackled around her.

“Are you sure you want to do that, little girl?” she asked.

“Ruby,” Anna pleaded; Ruby’s powers kept her pinned to the floor, unable to rise. Anger and helplessness were the only things she could feel as Abaddon flicked a finger, sending Ruby violently against a wall. Anna felt her slip into unconsciousness for barely a second; it was enough to break the pressure that kept her unmoving. She got up with a groan as Abaddon started to circle lazily around Ruby, smirking.

“Well, that was just too easy,” she drawled, lifting a hand and closing it into a fist. Ruby’s eyes flashed black as her back hit the wall, the demon’s magic keeping her in place. She made a choked sound, hands coming up to clutch at her own throat. Her face was reddened, almost purple. Her struggles were growing weaker. She was dying.

Anna wasn’t about to let that happen. She closed her hand around the thing she’d managed to smuggle while Abaddon was otherwise occupied.

“Hey!” she shouted. Seemingly startled, Abaddon’s fist loosened and Ruby drew in a sharp breath. Abaddon turned to Anna, expression enraged.

Anna didn’t think twice; the holy water splashed down Abaddon’s face with a satisfying hiss. Abaddon yelled in pain, wiping her face with the sleeve of her jacket. Ruby hit the floor with a startled _humph_ , but Anna didn’t pay her any attention. The door had opened, and Anna couldn’t tear her eyes from it.

The humming at the back of her mind increased in intensity.

It was a call.

When Castiel appeared, framed by Dean and Sam, she wasn’t surprised. They stumbled into the cabin, guns drawn and jaws set.

Abaddon wasn’t surprised either, if her quiet laugh was any indication. She crossed her arms over her chest and smirked.

“That’s all you’ve got? A scrawny angel, two bratty witches and a glorified thug?”

Dean shot once, twice, and his brother ran towards Ruby to help her to her feet. Anna didn’t have the time to think too hard about that. While Dean monopolized Abaddon’s attention, Castiel gripped her shoulder and spun her around.

“Anna,” he growled, eyes wild. “She’s right. I’m no match for a Knight of Hell. I need your help.”

Anna nodded frantically.

“Yeah, yeah, anything you want,” she whispered, keeping an eye on Dean. He’d just been thrown into a wall, and his head had hit it with a resounding crack. 

Castiel looked at her for a second before raising his hand to her forehead. Before he made contact, though, he pressed something cold into her palm with his other hand. A flash of sadness crossed his face.

“I’m sorry, sister,” he said.

Then he pressed his fingers against Anna’s skin, and she remembered.

~¤~¤~

The memories of her life as an angel flowing into her mind like a torrent.

The vial containing her Grace crashing to the floor. Light, so much light. Blinding.

_Close your eyes!_

Imperious.

The rage etched on Abaddon’s face as Castiel and Anna closed in on her, unleashing their power against her. She felt the Grace slipping away, burning down, and yet she  didn’t stop.

Her decision was made. There was no turning back.

Castiel’s wings, shimmering with distress as he refused to back up. Anna pushing him out of the way, taking the brunt of Abaddon’s struggling attack.

Ruby’s scream when she understood what Anna was about to do.

 _I’m sorry_.

The way her Grace fought, clawed at her insides, fitting so tightly, so _good_ that she almost changed her mind.

Almost.

Anna let it go, and felt it burn her blood vessels, carbonize her organs.

Pain.

 _So that’s it,_ she thought, _I’m dying with the last Knight of Hell._

One last look, - Ruby. Pale, disheveled, horrified. Alive.

And then –

Silence. The play had ended. She was alone.

~¤~¤~

_I’m losing faith, brother._

_You are not in your right mind, Anael. I’m begging you, please, reconsider._

_I’m sorry, Castiel. My decision is made. I want to be human._

_But humans are so…weak and ephemeral._

_Immortality hasn’t given me what I’m looking for._

_I can’t – I can’t do that to you._

_Please, Castiel. You’re the only one I trust with it._

_Sister…_

_It’s an order, Castiel. Tear my Grace away._

_Goodbye, sister. I will miss you._

_Pain_

_Light_

_Void._

~¤~¤~

“Well, Ariel, I’m starting to believe you actually like this place, seeing as I  keep finding you here,” a familiar voice drawled next to Anna’s ear.

Anna’s eyes blinked open, and she looked into Meg’s smirking face.

“I’m not dead,” she rasped, groaning when Meg started poking and prodding her with various unpleasant contraptions.

“Is that really necessary?” she complained, wincing when Meg’s nimble fingers grazed a particularly sore spot on her forehead.

“’M afraid so,” Meg answered cheerfully, handing Anna a glass of water. “You gave us quite a fright. If Clarence hadn’t healed your sorry ass the best he could, you wouldn’t have made it.”

Anna accepted the water gratefully and ignored the barely hidden reproach. She didn’t regret what she’d done. It had been a necessary sacrifice.

Her mind was clearer now. Clearer than it had been in a long time, and the sensation was almost overwhelming.

“Are the others… Are they okay?”

Meg smiled. “They’re all in one piece. Dean’s head took a few hits, but he’s used to it. Your girlfriend has been nagging me for hours. She’s…quite the character.”

Anna laughed, giddy with relief.

“Yeah, she is,” she said softly.

“There’s a woman here, too. Name’s Ellen. Last time I checked, she was tearing the boys’ boss a new asshole. Never seen that guy look so afraid in my life.”

Anna snorted and leaned back against her pillow. She realized how tired she was –not the tormented wariness that had plagued her when under Abaddon’s spell. It was something deeper, more melancholic than painful.

Like there was something missing.

“My Grace,” she whispered, letting her eyes slip closed. “It’s gone for good, isn’t it?”

Meg sighed and put a cool hand on her forehead.

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “It’s gone. I’m sorry, Ariel.”

Anna smiled, sleepiness claiming her.

“It’s okay. I didn’t want it anyway.”

~¤~¤~

“So, what now?” Ruby asked as she shrugged on Anna’s backpack. She looked  casual, but Anna had learned to read between the lines. She saw the worry and uneasiness in her tight-lipped smile and overly nonchalant movements. She smiled and let Ruby snake an arm around her waist to stabilize her.

She didn’t really need it, but she wasn’t about to tell her that.

A timid sun was trying to pierce through the icy-cold of winter, and Anna let it warm her face, smiling.

“Now,” she said. “How about we have some epic, acrobatic sex on an actual bed?”

Ruby’s laugh was the most beautiful thing in the world, but the minty kiss she placed on Anna’s lips came a close second.

_Fin_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [Sapphirestiel](http://sapphirestiel.tumblr.com) on tumblr.
> 
> Inspiration tag for this story: [x](http://sapphirestiel.tumblr.com/tagged/bdinspiration)


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